It's been a long time since I wrote about who my kids are NOW. I want a record of these things. My memory isn't great, and as they [and we] change, I want to remember each phase forever. Today, I'm gonna write about Isla. I'll probably do a post for each kid over the next 2 weeks or so.
I think we're trained to look up to people older than us-but MAN. I really admire and look up to Isla. I have never met a harder worker, and someone more capable of implementing problem solving techniques than she is, especially for her age. We knew before we had kids that with our family history, there was a good possibility some of our kids might inherit some challenges. For better or worse, Isla is the one to draw the lucky straw with some of these things. I remember when she was younger and things were presenting themselves feeling so AFRAID for her and guilty for this, and unsure if I was capable of meeting her needs. Lester talked me down [partnership people!], and we used whatever resources felt appropriate to help her. We changed our parenting style and learned what worked for her and what didn't. I had this picture in my head of what I was worried her future might look like-but BOY was I wrong. She continually blows us away with how she has turned what we thought we weaknesses into huge strengths. She handles stress and anxiety far better than any adult I know [me included] and is able to use all her 'tools' to walk her through hard moments in life. There isn't a person alive that she couldn't befriend or make feel loved. She is kind. She is passionate. She is determined. She is empathetic. She is smart. She is strong. She is compassionate. And I want to be like her. She likes to volunteer for absolutely everything, whether it's the cool thing or not. Currently, she works on 'green team' [the environmental club at her school], referees gaga ball, is participating in the optional science fair [doing her project on fast fashion and it's environmental impact], and is performing in her schools music festival playing Portuguese instruments and singing. She is learning instruments at home, and doesn't need us to make her practice. She is totally her own person. Likes her hair short, and things prepped ahead of time [she has this shoe box she fills the night before with stuff she needs for the following day so she can just wake up, get ready and go.] She is artistic, and every time she comes home with artwork I get a window into how she sees the world and it changes my perspective and is always so beautiful, like her. She loves to write, especially creepy mystery vibe and is so talented at it!
All this said, this doesn't mean the hard stuff is gone, or will ever go away. But I will say-I don't feel afraid for her anymore. And I think that has less to day with me [although I am trying to make my own strides as well!], but more to do with HER. I feel so confident and inspired by her. I know that she will embrace the good things and be more than capable of handling the bad ones too with grace and grit.
I love her and I want to be like her, and I am so glad I get to be her Mom. I hope despite my shortcomings, she feels that. I think she does, and I'm gonna keep striving to make sure thats clear my whole life.
