I think one of the things that I am learning to accept and adapt too is that there is just never enough time. In the obvious ways, like getting chores done throughout the days, or making sure you spend ample time with everyone-but also in other ways. 5 weeks may seem like a lifetime to some-but at the end of the day, it wasn't even close to enough. And that's ok. I think I am learning to live with that. Hillary and I were talking about this-I told her that the more time goes on, the more I worry that I will never find a place that I connect with so deeply as I do to the SF Bay Area, no matter how old I get or where life takes us. And that is a new reality for me-I guess I always had self efficacy that wherever we were, I could make it the happiest place ever-I am older now, and while I do think you can grow, and learn and find positive things anywhere [like-I could live in Boise again if I had too, for a long time-it was a good place], the reality is the Bay Area courses through my veins, and I constantly feel this out of body experience being anywhere else. I told Hillary I was worried that if I still feel this way after countless moves, and several years away from there, in my 30s, that I would never find a place that I loved as much. I don't want to live in homesickness. But she made a good point, when she said that part of it is roots. My connection to the Bay Area is of course to things like family, immediate and extended-both Lester and my families still live there. But I also have friends that have walked this lifetime with me there-the values I hold dear are integral to the society there. Some of the most important events in my life were there-things like becoming a sister, teenage hood, meeting Lester and watching our relationship grow, deteriorate, then come back together more solid then ever, welcoming 2 of our 4 children and learning how to be an adult, and so much more. I have laughed, cried and all the in between on those beaches and forest walks, in shadows of skyscrapers, and on night time roads while determining what I do believe and what I don't. And this connection is not my own-it is Lester's too. Where America slowly but surely became his home, and we became his family and home too. It is my ancestors, who owned and worked land and life here-on both sides of my family, in history's records. The fact is, I have people here-but I have the luxury of time and deep, deep roots here. That is something that will never change-ones that will be there forever I think. But given time, work and cultivation, these roots are something I can help develop when we eventually find where we may settle. And it is ok if that takes more then a few weeks, or even a few years, or if I find places that aren't it, that don't have the right soil for my soul no matter how much work I put in. That doesn't mean I won't find it-and until then I have my roots at home, and my own personal atrium to carry around the fruits of those roots and labors in my own personal beautiful little family that makes it all worth it. Home anywhere.