but of course, life doesn't go as planned. So later that night, after several painful, mounting contractions and a possible broken water scare [which it wasn't in the end PS], I ended up driving myself to labor and delivery at 2:00am to be monitored and hopefully sent home, where Lester was with the kids. But after a few hours and several tests, showing even higher BP's, protein in my urine, being dilated to a 3 and 60% effaced, they told me sorry, this was the real deal, and to see if I could work something out for my other kids, and get Lester there! Once we were able to get the babysitting under control [Thank goodness for Chio letting us drop 3 kids off in the middle of the night] Lester was able to join me around 4:00am which was a huge comfort, both physically and emotionally. 

Throughout the first portion of our stay, I had the best two nurses [Kerri and Bernice], which was a huge blessing, bc that was when I needed help the most. Because of the preeclampsia, they had to put me on magnesium to lower my blood pressure. However, I was also having an epidural and Pitocin. So for several hours with minimal progress [even with the highest dose of pitocin], I would go between fine and laboring, to suddenly feeling intense pain, visual issues, numbness etc [that would correlate with skyrocketing BP numbers in the 190s] and then huge fast drops [in the high 80's range] that would take me to vomitting mid labor then passing out and waking up to bright lights and ppl yelling in my face [3 times this happened]. If I'm honest, it was pretty scary.

In the past I have always loved labor, and although all my pregnancies have been different, that has been the one consistent thing. But this was totally different. I felt scared for her and scared for me at times and like I had no idea what to expect, or if I would make it through before they would want me to have an emergency C section bc things were going South. I wanted the relief from the horrible pain with the epidural, but every time I utilized the epidural effectively and pressed the button or they decided to up the dose, I would then pass out vomit etc. But between Lester being there 100% for me throughout that, and my nurses being so motherly, kind, attentive and compassionate throughout the whole thing, we were able to make it to a safe place to have her. I think one thing that is key in labor, whether its with your spouse, your nurse, your Mom, or whoever, is having someone there to make you feel like you are in this together and not alone. Before Lester was able to get there, those nurses were able to help me feel like we were going to figure this out together and that they were invested. And once Lester was there, I knew that I had a team of people there to see me through while I brought this life into the world, no matter how exhausted or painful and uncertain everything was feeling. 

When she was finally born [around 5:00pm on Wed], she was the most calm, beautiful, little thing I had ever seen. Head full of dark hair, big, bright wide eyes, alert but quiet and every single thing that I had worked, cried, sweat, bled, prayed and dreamed for. And she continues to be that daily.

Talia Grace completed our family that snow laden, late afternoon in February, clocking in as our smallest baby at 5 lbs 15 oz, and 19 in long. We are all here now. And that could never be the case without her. She is our missing piece. She brings out something new in each and every one of us-Bear as a caretaker and big brother, Isla as a leader, and Addy full of pride and confidence in it all. She is small, sweet, calm, alert and pensive, beautiful and all that we needed. Things feel right now that she is here. 

After a few more days of post partum care in the hospital [memo to everyone-preeclampsia is the pits, never do it if you can help it haha-its been a few days and its still taking its time to be done], we came back home to yet another miracle, in that my sister and her family had come to relieve Chio of our kids, and bring them home to watch and play with them for the days I was in the hospital.

We got back home on Lunar New Year, with our sweet Tally girl in hand, and bc of the fun crafts and prep work we had done before hand [again, I had expected her to come early so I planned stuff ahead of time just in case] as well as take out from good old Panda Express, we walked straight into a celebration of Lunar New Year and all things new life. We watched parades, read stories, decorated w paper lanterns, learned a bit about our ancestors and heritage and how that applies to our newly grown family, and more. The kids loved spending so much time together, and I loved that they felt loved and supported while I was able to spend time recovering and loving on baby and breastfeeding and talking late into the night with my sister.