Cue the drake music-bc I'm all up in my feelings. i feel like with each child i have, each experience is unique, and for that reason special.

w Addy; she was our first and everything was new and exciting and a milestone-we were learning and growing together.


w Isla, she was so her own and took the world on in her own way and own time-and that was special.



with Bear now; i feel like its double tugging at the heart strings.he is of course our first boy, and his own relaxed, chill, cuddly person- but I'm also super conscious of the fact that this might be the last time we do all this. like i said, key word there is might-but knowing this does put alot of things in perspective for me.


i feel like maybe, just as Bear is entering this new phase in his life with toddler-hood i may be entering a new phase as well-and I'll admit. its a little bittersweet. for this reason, I'm cherishing every dimpled smile of his, every little growl combination belly laugh of his; his one armed bounce dancing; his scoot crawling and sidestepping, his endless eating, his bald headed snuggles and calm, happy peaceful personality. and tomorrow he is one-and i am a fully mixed bag of pride, love and a tiny bit of sadness too. thank goodness i have a whole wonderful new world of things to look forward to w him! trying to focus on the positives here people haha!

in celebration of our boy, we had a star wars themed 1st bday party. to be honest, Ive been wanting to have a party like this since we started having kids haha. but with the girls, they [or Lester] always seemed to want different themes, which was fine bc it suited them and their different personalities. this time though, from the second i found out he was coming, i told Lester that this party was HAPPENING-since who knows if id get another chance for a first bday haha. then, when we found it he was a boy, it seemed like fate.

so, about 6 months after he was born and he was the dream baby i had hoped for, the girls and i got to work planning this party of his. for whenever we had time, we'd work on home made lightsabers, or get supplies to make little costumes-I'd plan the menu and any games or activities we wanted to do, or recruit Lester or my family members to play roles it it.

Eventually, I realised there was a good chance that a lot of our family members would be in town in July for a family reunion, so since there is a good chance we wont have many big family bday parties with so many friends and family around who we love, we decided to plan it then.

the party itself went pretty well i think-Bear seemed to enjoy observing the kids battle it out with the Sith's who came to steal his bday cupcakes-and i should not have been surprised w how quickly an efficiently he demolished his smash cake haha. the sugar rush afterwards was adorable, and had him shaking haha-pretty sure we'll be limiting the amount of cake he gets for quite a while. the girls and their cousins and friends seemed to have a lot of fun [even Isla, who despite being prepared and warned several times-even to the point of wearing the Vader costume] was TERRIFIED when Darth Vader and friends came out, and had a meltdown for the 30 minutes following. once she had a cupcake though and got to play w r2d2 who was visiting, she was happy again. And all the adults were so kind about noticing a lot of the little touches and work that went into the party.












I especially need to thank my sister Hillary and Mariah, and my cousin Natalie for helping me the days prior to the party. and my friends Drea, and Becca for coming a bit early and helping me while i ran around all stressed out trying to figure out why the grill wasn't cooperating haha. and Emil and Steph and Hayley for taking so many awesome pictures. and of course, my partner in everything, Lester and his actively participating with the planning and execution and for loving and working for us all so much. and for the million other wonderful friends and family who came and supported us as always as we attempted this party.
















 it may sound silly to put so much work into a 1st bday party-but what it comes down to is that Bear and I can look back and see how many people were there for him and feel special. That boy is so very LOVED and it makes me feel nothing but loved as well-and for that I will feel forever grateful.

Now slow down my baby boo boo Bear boy [say that 10 times fast haha]-don't grow up to fast. Thank you for choosing us, and for bringing us your specific brand of joy every day since you were born. We love you.