-A few days ago, at the end of long day of single momming it while Lester was at work, I was getting ready to put the kids down to bed. Addy asked if I would open her water bottle, and I distractedly said 'yes, ok, just first let me finish feeding Bear and helping Isla get her pajamas on'. To which she replied, 'Ok. Um, Mom. I'm sorry that we are so much work and we are difficult for you. I know we ask you for too much, but I just love you and I'm sorry.' I was shocked, and confused-all she asked me for was some water.

I went over my behaviour through out the day, and tried to analyze if I had been short tempered with her, or lost my patience-and ironically, that day in particular I couldn't think of any times I had. But then I looked at her and realized she was looking at the floor and her eyes were brimming with tears. And my heart went CRACK. Because she is the sweetest, most thoughtful kid and yet she still often shows the maturity of an adult. So I  finished up with the other two, and told Addy to come over here, and as I looked her in the eyes I told her she never had to be sorry that she needs me. Taking care of her and her brother and sister isn't just something that I have to do-its something that I want to do-something that I chose to do. I thanked her for being my daughter and trying to be patient with me on the days when I am sometimes tired or short tempered, and that she makes me happy. I told her I was sorry if I ever made it seem otherwise. I asked her if there was anything she needed from me-and she said no, but I could still see she was close to tears. So I was quiet, and I just listened to the silence and the spirit and her needs-and I asked her if she just needed some Momma cuddles-and then she let the tears flow finally, and closed her eyes and said yes. So I scooped my oldest baby up, and cuddled her till both our tears stopped, and we talked and laughed and cried for a good while, before I carried her to bed, tucked her in and said goodnight.

Afterwards, when all the littles were finally asleep, I sat in my room and thought about it. I think its easy for a parent to think about all the things they didn't get done, or didn't have time for-or the things they are not giving their kids for whatever reason. But I am deciding to look at the glass half full. Every day I see how wonderful it is for my children to have siblings so close in age-there is always a lot going on, and it can be hectic. But it also makes the quiet, one on one moments all that more special. Like the times I spend one on one cooking with her, or making shadow puppets after the others fall asleep and she's still up. But especially moments like this one, with my sweet Addy, which I'll always cherish and remember. Being a mother is gift.

-Isla has been cracking me up to no end lately. She recently started her first ever class on her own-a ballet one-and she is thriving both in class, and out. She tried so hard to get the moves right, but all the while has the biggest, most sincere smile while she tries. She likes to make friends everywhere she goes, and will often go up to people, kids and adults, and just say 'Oh, HI!' and its just too much. Every day in the car she asks me to sing her favourite songs with her, several being church ones [A Child's Prayer, I Like To Look For Rainbows] and top 20 hits [Stay by Alessia Carr and basically any and all Bruno Mars songs]. She always seems to enjoy the villains in movies, or want to be a monster princess vampire dragon. She is so creative and likes to make jokes. She has several catch phrases-her current one is accompanied with squinty eyes and hands on her hips, as she says slowly '...is that sooo?' particularly when I tell her not to do something. She still feels everything keenly, and makes sure the world feels all of that. She likes to make silly voices, and put on shows for us all. She has the sweetest little falsetto voice and still has trouble with her R's and few other letters-which just makes talking to her all that much cuter. She pushes and tests every limit she can, like with my patience and every rule. She knows what she likes, and is stubborn about it, in both good ways and bad. She throws her shoulder out, folds her arms, and side eyes us when she upset. She selectively seems to remember things perfectly-and then completely doesn't with others so its hard to gauge what shes taking in and what she isn't. She always tries to cross lines, both literally and figuratively. We love how she always seems to have a messy chocolate face, no matter how many times we clean her up. She loves and plays harder then anyone  I know. She still puts her hands on her face when shes tired. She has a zest for life that I wish I could bottle, and she brings such a needed element of true childhood and passion to our home and our lives.  She is rocking the middle child gig, and we love her feisty spirit, sincere heart, and beauty, inside and out.

-Bear has only been with us about 8 weeks, and in some ways it feels like nothing, while in others its hard to remember life before him. He is absolutely the most mellow, sweet peaceful kid I could ever dream of. He is our only child who has not taken a pacifier-not bc he isn't willing to-but bc he doesn't need one. He is ok with everyone, and loves to observe and talk to all. He will also sleep anywhere-bowling, his bumbo, boppy, swing, in our arms, car seat-you name it, he can sleep through it. When he is awake he is smiley or talkative and observant-but he saves his best smiles and constant cuddles for me, thank goodness. His gas rivals that of Lester's and even my Dad's, and yet he rarely complains through it. He lets me get a decent nights sleep most of the time, and in the hours he is awake, hes content to get his needs fulfilled then let me do what I need to. I cant even count the times that I've fed him, fallen asleep, then woken up to him just sweetly staring at me, no complaints. He is always styling and actually leaves his shoes on, unlike his siblings. He indulges me when I want to show him off, and when I want him all to myself. Because he eats so well, he is chunking up very quickly, which is wonderful since then I have more to cuddle and love on. Despite being only around 2 months, he's fitting 3-6 month clothes as a result, which just adds to the adorableness. Its hard to think of a single negative thing about him-again, he is just an absolute dream baby boy and we all love him, and cherish every second of baby Bear.

So that is a bit about who the kids are now. Amidst all their growing, we have been having fun enjoying [and melting] in the hot weather lately, and enjoying visits from Mariah, Ross and sweet baby Avonlea. We've had our usual park days, outings to the city, classes, water fights, bowling for FHE [planned by Addy], Fog Fest, working out, beach days, and of course, lots and lots of cooking and baking. Add some chores, sweat, work and tears in here and there, and you've got our life lately. We are happy with it!