Equally Yoked
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It is 12:21 on August 21st 2013 and it is our 3rd wedding anniversary. We have a lot of fun things planned for this day, and I am sure I will blog about that later, but I wanted to take the time to record some thoughts I've had this year regarding our relationship-things that I think have helped us and I think can help all relationships.
Most people who hear of Mormons know of our book of scripture The Book of Mormon-but I don't know think they know how much we love and revere the Bible as well. We consider them both to be books from God with lessons we can learn from even today. In the Bible, there is a verse that I didn't understand or care about until recently. It says "You shall not plow an donkey and an ox together." Now, lets be honest-I am no farm girl. I know nothing of donkeys and oxen so this verse seemed foreign and fairly unimportant to me.
But as I later found out, a 'yoke' is something that is put over an animal and connected to a cart to be pulled. These yokes are made specifically for the animals that pull them-they are carved according to the animals weight, size and abilities. Thus, if you yoke a mule and an ox together, they cannot pull equally, meaning you are stuck and your cart is going no where. However, if you put an ox and an ox together [or a mule and mule] you can do the work and speed of several people in half the time. This is because they are equally yoked, and working towards the same purpose.
In the beginning of our marriage, Lester and I loved each other to no end, but I think, as many other newlyweds their was a period of getting used to each other. We were very very happy but marriage was, and is, not without its trials. But over this last year, and all the things we've been through, we have gone from walking side by side to truly pulling together at a much better pace. People say you should never change for someone else-I think this is untrue. I have changed for Lester in a million little ways, and he has done the same for me countless times. And not because we have asked each other to-but because we want to be the best we can for each other and because we are invested in our relationship enough that it is worth it. I think in marriage and most healthy, happy relationship you have to be your own person, and have your own personalities, but be 100% united, invested and working towards the same things to be truly happy and get the most out of it.
For me and Lester, it is our family, and especially our daughter that we 'plow' towards helping. We will both do absolutely everything we can to work, sweat, pray, teach and love this girl and show her the things we know to be true. We want her to always know she is loved and safe, important and a child of her Heavenly Father. I think if one of us wasn't pulling as hard for that or for each other, we would differ in the most fundamental things, and it would affect all other aspects of our relationship, both big and small.
For others, they are both working towards something else-I think of my Aunt and Uncle, who are both invested in each others successes in their careers and home, and they have been happily together since long before I was born. I think of my parents, who at times seem like polar opposites, but are both invested in home and heart, and in pulling us all along together.
Like an ox and a mule, if you are not pulling at the same pace, weight and speed you may occasionally make some small steps, but ultimately you will be stuck in the same place, making little or no progress or trying to pull in opposite directions. I know that for me at least, this would not be ideal.
I love my husband, and I love our life together. I still think some people don't understand the joy it brings to my heart and the peace it brings to my soul to know that when all other things fade, he will still be here with me for the eternities. I love this date every year because it reminds me of these truths, and allows me to see that another year has come and gone, and we are still progressing, pulling together and loving it, even in the hard times. I love being his and I am glad that we can be 'oxen' together if you will, pulling along our cart of treasures, and adding to it every year.
Most people who hear of Mormons know of our book of scripture The Book of Mormon-but I don't know think they know how much we love and revere the Bible as well. We consider them both to be books from God with lessons we can learn from even today. In the Bible, there is a verse that I didn't understand or care about until recently. It says "You shall not plow an donkey and an ox together." Now, lets be honest-I am no farm girl. I know nothing of donkeys and oxen so this verse seemed foreign and fairly unimportant to me.
But as I later found out, a 'yoke' is something that is put over an animal and connected to a cart to be pulled. These yokes are made specifically for the animals that pull them-they are carved according to the animals weight, size and abilities. Thus, if you yoke a mule and an ox together, they cannot pull equally, meaning you are stuck and your cart is going no where. However, if you put an ox and an ox together [or a mule and mule] you can do the work and speed of several people in half the time. This is because they are equally yoked, and working towards the same purpose.
In the beginning of our marriage, Lester and I loved each other to no end, but I think, as many other newlyweds their was a period of getting used to each other. We were very very happy but marriage was, and is, not without its trials. But over this last year, and all the things we've been through, we have gone from walking side by side to truly pulling together at a much better pace. People say you should never change for someone else-I think this is untrue. I have changed for Lester in a million little ways, and he has done the same for me countless times. And not because we have asked each other to-but because we want to be the best we can for each other and because we are invested in our relationship enough that it is worth it. I think in marriage and most healthy, happy relationship you have to be your own person, and have your own personalities, but be 100% united, invested and working towards the same things to be truly happy and get the most out of it.
For me and Lester, it is our family, and especially our daughter that we 'plow' towards helping. We will both do absolutely everything we can to work, sweat, pray, teach and love this girl and show her the things we know to be true. We want her to always know she is loved and safe, important and a child of her Heavenly Father. I think if one of us wasn't pulling as hard for that or for each other, we would differ in the most fundamental things, and it would affect all other aspects of our relationship, both big and small.
For others, they are both working towards something else-I think of my Aunt and Uncle, who are both invested in each others successes in their careers and home, and they have been happily together since long before I was born. I think of my parents, who at times seem like polar opposites, but are both invested in home and heart, and in pulling us all along together.
Like an ox and a mule, if you are not pulling at the same pace, weight and speed you may occasionally make some small steps, but ultimately you will be stuck in the same place, making little or no progress or trying to pull in opposite directions. I know that for me at least, this would not be ideal.
I love my husband, and I love our life together. I still think some people don't understand the joy it brings to my heart and the peace it brings to my soul to know that when all other things fade, he will still be here with me for the eternities. I love this date every year because it reminds me of these truths, and allows me to see that another year has come and gone, and we are still progressing, pulling together and loving it, even in the hard times. I love being his and I am glad that we can be 'oxen' together if you will, pulling along our cart of treasures, and adding to it every year.
