A week or two ago my friend Lisa married her sweet heart Grant. Having known her since elementary school, and our days as munchkins and good witches, it was a pretty fun, special experience for me to be there with my own munchkins. The love the two have for each other was tangible and permeated the entire event, as did their love for everyone there. It was evident in everything, all the way down to the places settings for the 4 of us, complete with high chairs, a special menu and individual treats for the girls to play with throughout the wedding. Both Lisa and Grant practically glowed with excitement for this next step they are making together, and their joy was contagious. It was fun dancing the night away in beautiful Napa with so many loved ones, and it was a memory I'll cherish for years to come, as will they I am sure.

In exchanging vows, Lisa said something that has stuck with me ever since. In talking about the commitment they were making, she said she sees these 'not just as promises, but as privileges.' I think often in life, almost everyone can occasionally get caught up in the responsibilities and the weight that come with the promises we make, be it in marriage, with kids, jobs or what have you. But if we think of it in the way she put it-as privileges-it gives us greater perspective. It helps us remember why we made these promises in the first place-and feel how lucky we are to be a part of them, and on the receiving end of the beautiful things that come as a result, even if they take some work.





I couldn't help but think of that tonight with my eldest daughter. She is the kind of personality that is fairly easy going, and self sufficient. She is affectionate and sweet, but is also usually fine figuring things out herself if necessary and at being independent-especially as her sweet younger sister can tend to be more attached, and likes to stay close to me most of the time. But lately, as Isla has ventured out, Addy has seemed to be in need of a bit more attention, which is funny, as I was literally telling Lester the other day that I thought I needed to take her out, just the two of us; not because anything had happened, but just bc we haven't done so in a while.

Then today, she confirmed this need when I came home from a long appointment with my Grandma to a teary eyed, emotional girl who said she just needed 'some time with Mommy.' The thing is, life can't and won't just stop and things still need to get done. So I told her I took her aside, cuddled her, and told her I am so excited to take her out soon, but for now she could help me make dinner if she wanted-and this absolutely made her night.  It was such a simple thing. But the whole time I helped her grate carrots, measure out the rice and stir sauces she kept profusely thanking me, and telling me I was 'the best Mommy EVER.'

And of course, I'm tempted to feel bad at how easily pleased she is and like maybe I need to do more. But then I realize that maybe that is just part of the responsibility aspect-and that even if its a lot of work and I always want to do more, we do actually do a lot of fun things that are for good for her-and that maybe even simple, boring moments like this can be still be special. Especially bc I remember them being special with my Mom. I remember the special trips and activities too, but I also remember how special it was to be able to bake with Mom. Its things like this that make me feel so, SO lucky to be part of the promise that makes me her Mom and confidant. It is a hard earned promise at times, but truly a privilege above all others.




If I spend the rest of my life fulfilling my personal role [bc I know its different for everyone] as a caregiver-to her and her siblings, my husband, my parents, my friends, and all those I come in contact with-making people feel safe, loved, valued and included-I will consider this a life well lived and a mission very well accomplished. Because Lisa is right-these truly ARE privileges -not just promises.

Congrats to the newlyweds-love you both, and am excited for all the years of wonderful exciting things ahead!