I heard a quote recently that said 'to testify is a way to defy.'

For me, the word testimony has always had two associations; in a court room setting, and a religious one. In both cases, testimony is a way of putting yourself, your experiences, and your core beliefs on the line in an effort to convince people of something-most often-to convince people of truth. 

Most of my life, I haven't thought of it as more than that. I have seen testimonies steeped in tears of sincerity, ones matched with averted eyes, or others with direct intense eye contact. I've heard testimony from voices that waver in fear, while trying to glean strength beyond themselves, and ones that ring out strong, staunch and firm regardless of the consequences. I've heard ones mired in loyalty and tradition, and ones that break from the norm and speak words that are depart from all generations that have come before them. I've heard testimonies that reak of manipulation, and ones that exude mercy and love beyond comprehension. I've heard testimonies in real time as they are being embedded into the hearts and memories of those speaking them, and ones coming from beyond the grave that jump off the page. 

But regardless of their delivery, testimony [to me] is rarely something to be taken lightly by those bearing, or by those hearing. 

I was born and raised in a deeply religious, and also deeply mixed, diverse [in every way] family. At 33, and I imagine for the rest of my life, I am still figuring out where I stand on certain things. I hope I will always be changing and learning. But there are some things that I want to testify of here and now. In real time, on the record, but also so they are there for future generations to see what I believe and the things I can testify of. 

I testify that people aren't monolithic. And I both TESTIFY and DEFY anyone who says otherwise.

I testify that representation and diversity matter and are important and that there is not one right way to be a good person. I testify that black and asian lives matter, women matter, gay and trans life matter, handicapped people matter, religious rights matter, science and religion can co exist, that we can disagree on things as long as we are respectful of one another, that its ok to have and set healthy boundaries and that the right to choose these things is important. And I testify that saying that saying these things out loud does not mean that other lives matter less-it means exactly what it is says, and that actions speak louder then words so all these lives need to support the ones that are being threatened.

I testify that its important to be kind and compassionate and to listen-not just hear-but really LISTEN to others. It doesn't mean we have to change our minds [although it is ok if we do]-but it does mean we can see each other less as caricatures and more as real people with real reasons for being the way we are. I testify that if we are capable of giving people the benefit of the doubt, even when it hurts or seems impossible, we can better find peace externally and internally. I testify that to me, peace can not be found in words or actions of hate, or at the end of a gun. I testify that saying these things doesn't mean I am anti peoples rights-it means that if there is a problem, we can at very least look at potential solutions instead of just saying 'leave things the way they are bc there is no real way to fix it.' I testify that compromise can work, and that living in 'good enough' can reach a point that is just not good enough. 

I also testify that my life and personal experiences have led me to believe that Jesus Christ is real-and that he is for everyone. Even those who don't believe in him or choose him-and that I believe one of the core reasons he came, lived, died and was resurrected, was to ensure that ALL people had the right to choose their path-and it didn't make him love them any less. And that I testify that it is 100% ok if that narrative is not your own. I testify in my belief of his life,  of his sacrifice and his love-but that even if that's not something you believe, I can live in love and respect and understanding and compassion bc that is something I believe in, and that I believe he did as well.  

I know some people will say that many of the things I've written are 'too political' or 'too religious'. I don't see them as either. I just see them as truths, politics and relgion aside. But regardless, this is MY testimony, unpopular opinions and all-and like Jackie Robinson said-'I know who I am. I've got enough respect for myself.' I hope with all my heart that my loved ones feel they can respect me-but that even if they can't, they know where I stand and where my testimony lies-and also that I can still be a safe harbor for them regardless of where they land on their own. 

So this is my testimony. On the record. Along with some completely unrelated recent pictures of the cutest baby who I am unapologetically obsessed with.