Patience. Patience is a virtue. A virtue which I am TRYING to develop but one which seems to continually allude me haha! In all seriousness though, I think patience is something that if it doesn't come naturally can come with work and over time-of course, this means that you could be working on it for the rest of time [I imagine this will be my lot in life]. But still, I do believe that as long as you are trying, that is something right? So thats where I'm at right now.

Last pregnancy, I feel like although extremely excited to meet our new daughter, I didn't have time to get super impatient bc they moved my due date up, we were so busy with a milling stressful things, etc etc. This second time around, I feel like although preferable, my impatience is rearing its head hard because things are happening to make it always on my mind. For example, I think I mentioned that I started having Braxton Hicks [false labor] around 28 weeks with this pregnancy. It was off and on some nights, but now I'm to the point where every night I can expect at least a good while of them. There have been points where I thought it might be the real thing bc they get to being 3 minutes apart for about an hour, then right when I'm about to call it, they go back to every 15 minutes or so. They are also more painful then last time, which is odd but still-I would love to try to avoid going in and being turned around so I ride it out, and so far that has been the right call. My point is, when you are doing things like counting time in between contractions on a daily basis, it makes it so that it is always on your mind-I feel like it is taking longer bc it has to consume my thoughts for the time being-does that make sense? The other thing that is making it at least FEEL like it is taking longer is kinda embarrassing but worth recording for reference sake I think.

When you are pregnant I feel like everyone tells you what is going to be happening to your body, and you just kinda take their word for it, bc obviously they know right? Like Dr, you tell me the reason I'm vomiting is this, sounds good to me, I don't have to see my gag reflex to believe the reason, ya know? well, just like last time, my Dr explained to me the process of my hips and pelvic area opening/relaxing to prepare for the baby to come. I nodded, believed him and went home. I've always had some lower back pain in pregnancy so I didn't think any thing of that-but about a week and a half ago, I woke up bc I could literally feel my pelvic area moving and separating and it is painful. Since then, that has been my main bugger. The pain in my pelvis never leaves-it feels like salad tongs that your pushing on w all your might but for some reason you just can't close. Last appt my Dr said babies dropped and completely in position, so I'm assuming thats why its so uncomfortable-but still. I actually considered going in last night, but the thing is the pain from that was bad and keeping me up and hurting, but my contractions weren't consistent enough. So I feel like what would be the point in going in? Obviously peace of mind, but would they even be able to give me that? Ugh pregnancy is so unpredictable for a planner like me! Haha I can't say enough how much I LOVE love love being a parent-but how much I do not enjoy being pregnant. Judge me!

The positives however ARE there. For one thing, the best biggest thing for me at least is NO PUPPP this time around! Manna from heaven I tell you guys, I seriously can't express how grateful I am for this. I also don't have any new stretch marks [TMI I know, but this is miraculous since I'm much bigger this time around]. I feel like I also have more energy this time then I did last time around. And of course, I am seriously surrounded by family and friends who are here to love and support me when I am being a wuss. So ultimately every thing is really good. I just need to continually remind myself of that..

which brings us back to our point of patience haha. I am grateful for a husband who exhibits this with me as I talk about these things far to often I'm sure, for a daughter who still excited to be with me even when its an indoor day and I look terrible, for siblings and parents who love us and are glad we're here, for friends who still like me when the day is done, and for a new daughter who is patiently awaiting her debut and making our lives that much more exciting. Thanks for teaching me the true meaning of DEVELOPING patience. I will get there someday-I hope haha! 22 days till we're due!