Marriage is an interesting thing. You take two people who, despite loving each other very much, have differences upon differences. Be it in personality, likes or dislikes, lifestyle, cleanliness, etc-the list goes on and on. And yet, miraculously, over the years, they are expected to become one unit. And there is so so much beauty in that, but also, an incredible amount of work, and mountains to surmount if its ever to be achieved-and I'm talking about in things both anticipated and things that are not.

My point in all this is that I've heard the idea that a couple should always be 'dating' etc, bc no matter how solid you think you are, you are two separate people. So rather then wanting that fact to be emphasized and the divide widened, you want to combat it, and close that divide as much as humanly possible. They propose that dating your whole marriage long is one of the solutions. I think that while this is a good idea, it isn't always the most realistic. Whether its with a career schedule, or the added schedules and needs of children, time isn't always something easily afforded. I also think that part of the reason me and Lester fell in love is BC of our differences. And while I always want us to be growing together, I don't want those differences to disappear-its good to have things that are unique to us, or things that speak to our souls-and while change is inevitable, I want us to still be some sembalnce of who we were, and things we loved. So while I think recognizing the fragility of any perfect thing is extremely important, and always dating is a good way to combat some of those things-its ok to have individual hobbies. My recommendation is that even when dating isn't a possibility, you can take on each others hobbies, and suit them to fit your families needs and lives.

All that said, I love to cook and bake. This is something that was instilled in me early on, baking with my Mom. But its something that has taken root deeply beyond that-I love to read about new cuisines, learn the perfected techniques, appreciate food in the love and work and culture thats put into it, and the art that it can be, and of course-eat it!

The hard thing with this is finding balance-both in indulging and trying to new things, but also in budget, time, and above all, health. Its been hard over the years to find this balance. There have been years of me indulging my hobby, and the consequences being detrimental to our health or finances haha. There have been years of curbing this hobby completely, and I have found myself feeling a little identity-less and without an outlet for my soul [which sounds extreme, but there it is] which affects my over all happiness. Either over indulging it, or cutting it out was not working. So eventually, without even realizing it, we compromised-and now we share this hobby completely. We do it in a healthier way, and add the hobby and necessity of exercise with it, and we get to share this thing that means so much to me. We can do it with our kids, and increase their palette and life skills when they cook with us. And best of all, they can see how we love and respect each other, as we work and play together-even if we don't have time for an official date...

AND I LOVE IT YOU GUYS! And just as Lester has taken on my hobbies, I have taken on his. Lester enjoys photography. And if I'm honest, I don't love being the focal point of any picture [haha] but I know its important to him, and I have genuinely loved learning about all the different aspects there are to it-from equipment [camera, film, natural light vs. studio light, editing, etc] to location and posing, and then candids. So I'm willing to do it. And I've found that I don't hate having more pictures of me, the girls, and Lester living our lives out together. If anything, I cherish it-and I love seeing how it affects the girls self esteem, that Daddy loves seeing us smile and be together. So yes-date, if you can find or make the time. But if not, don't just do nothing-share parts of yourself, your hobbies, and allow yourself the joy of seeing your partner thrive, and your relationship as well as you do it.

And now, I will get off my soapbox finally, and thank the Morco's for capturing some impromptu pics of Lester and I doing just that. Enjoying each others hobbies [cooking and photography with our girls], and of course, enjoying being together. They too are a great example of this for us. Love you guys!