Tonight my thoughts are all over the place but I will try to keep this fairly easy to follow. We'll see what happens haha..

First of all, do you ever have those moments where you literally just want to lock you doors, close your windows and shut out the world entirely? Like if my windows are closed, the scary things out there will simply cease to exist. Today I have felt like that multiple times. I know that people are probably getting tired of me talking about this, but that tornado thing really did shake me. I wish that  I could look at it and think to myself 'that will never happen again for us', but the fact is they don't call it 'tornado day'-it is called tornado 'season'. Meaning for basically the rest of our time here, although people keep saying it probably won't, another tornado could potentially rip through our lives again. I used to love the sound of thunder and the sight of lightning, because it meant I could watch it safe in my warm and cozy pjs and blankets from my house-but now even the slightest roar of thunder worries me, and the big ones have me grabbing my baby and our bags and running for cover. Today is one of those days. Lester is at work, we are on tornado watch [remember watch is the less serious one, warning is the serious one..] the lights have got out two times, and the thunder and lightning is shaking our apartment and my spirits. I have never been good in these situations, but now that I have a kid who looks to me for cues on how to react or if she should be scared or not, I have to keep it together. I am doing my best, and I think I am getting better, but my heart still pounds out of control at it. I hope this is something I will get over, and I hope with that we, along with all the wonderful people of Oklahoma don't have to deal with another tornado this year.

I also wish that I could close my windows and doors and shut out other things to; things like time and the things Addy will have to face someday. I know that in every stage of her life there will be things to look forward to-but I would love to just keep Addy at this stage for a little bit longer and slow the clock  from making her grow so fast. People complain about the clingy stage, and I realize that one of the reasons I don't mind it so much is because I don't see a ton of other people here, but I love it and I kind of don't want it to end. I love the way she reaches for me and always scoots on her little bum in a sitting position till she is practically on top of me. I love the way she looks at me when she is proud of herself, or when she is nervous, or hurt- how she has to have me sitting so close that she can always grab me, rest her head on me or give me a big hug. She is my best friend, and I know I will always feel that way about her-but I also know that her growing up can change that on her end, and there may be phases where she doesn't just want her Momma. I am not look forward to that so much haha. So I am going to absolutely cherish this clingy phase for a while-especially since she is so friendly, and once we are home will have so many options of people to enjoy. At least she will still look for me first for a while.








Anyways, I guess I will end with this thought. When I am trying to deal with these things and realizing that I can't shut it all out, no matter how much try, I think of The Sound Of Music of all things. There are several important lessons in that movie, and one might automatically think of My Favorite Things when they are huddled together to hide from the thunder storm here, but the one I want to mention is from the song I Have Confidence. This song defines where I am at in my life, what I am trying to do and all my feelings right now in this phase in my life. I could go line by line and tell you how each one applies to me-but I won't. I will just mentioned one. At one point she sings 'Strength doesn't lie in numbers. Strength doesn't lie in wealth. Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumber-when you wake up, wake up-its healthy!'

I know this is true. The times I am feeling the most confident, the strongest and the most able to tackle all the wonderful and scary things before me, are the times I am doing everything I can to be my best and serve other people, particularly my family, and the peaceful nights of slumber are the confirmation of that fact, and the reward that rejuvenates me. If I can go to bed without wondering 'Did I do enough? Do they know how much I love them? Have I met everyones needs to the best of my ability?' then I can sleep soundly in a deep, peaceful sleep and know that I am waking up to something new and surmountable. Period. THAT is where strength comes from. THAT is where confidence to handle the seemingly impossible stems from. THAT is where peace is resides. In selfless service we meet others needs and find that somehow, magically, our needs are being met as well.

So, even though it may take me a while to get to a point where I am not a little nervous or scared in tornado warnings or thunderstorms, or even just about our undefined future, I know that I will get there as I do all that I can to take care of my family. Its harder to lose your head when your focused on helping everyone else keep theirs I think. I have confidence in me.

I am posting the lyrics to this song because they are just SO good and worth everyone reading what they say, or better yet hearing Julie Andrews perform them, because she rocks it. Hopefully it will boost your confidence as it has mine:

Upon hearing about all the devastation the tornado caused, we were eager to help in whatever ways we could. However, what with how well the media and the community were doing, they had blocked off the town and we were unable to assist in any way until yesterday. That morning, even though Lester was working we hooked up with a group and tried to help out. It was a little unorganized, but we did what we could and went and picked up our girl who I missed for the short 2.5 hours we were gone haha.

What with everything that's been going on in our world lately, I haven't had the chance to write Addy's 7 month post so I will do it now. I was debating whether or not to forgo it, but I did that once before and now I am regretting it..so here goes.

More and more everyday Addy seems to act like a toddler to me. She is still borderline to a full out crawl, but so far she sticks with her combo rolling-army crawl style. I think she is of the mind set 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it'. She also stands firmly while holding on to things and this is her favorite thing. She is definitely gaining balance, and can hold herself in a standing position without holding on to  anything for about 5 seconds-this doesn't sound like a lot, but compared to a last month and her age she is doing great. When she sits now, we don't worry whether she will fall or not. The fact is, if she does its because she's propelling herself forward and wants to get into a crawling position. Its pretty fun to watch.

Since she is so firm in her sitting, we are now letting her sit in high chairs and shopping cart seats now. When we try to leave her in her car seat, she gets mad because she loves to be up near us and all the other people; she just has to be a part of the action. She is still as friendly as ever and smiles and talks to everyone she meets.
She is gaining her own likes and dislikes, and is extremely independent. Before, when I would offer her any baby food or room temperature bottles, she didn't care and would go for it. Now if she doesn't like something she will turn her head as far as possible and bob and weave as I try to give it to her. When she is tired and ready for a nap or bed, she only wants blankets that are that nice soft fuzzy material and she has to hold them in her tight little fists till she's out.

She also is doing this funny thing where she tries to feed herself her own bottles. While she can firmly hold onto them, she still can't seem to get it into the position she needs to in order to get the milk flowing. Its funny to watch her get frustrated, but never ever give up and let me help. She also is focused. If she wants Daddy's pen, she will stop at nothing till she gets that thing. No distractions will work.

She genuinely seems to think she can talk as-she babbles to herself sometimes, but often she will stare at us and make different facial expressions and head tilts as she does a combination of syllables, spits, and squeals. If we ask her  a question, she will respond with more of this, and if I whisper, she will lean in and whisper in her silly little language back. I love it.

She still loves bath time, and is now no longer using her baby tub because she forces herself up and out when we try it. She also still loves story time, and always wants to help turn the pages. She likes music and Disney movies, and has her own form of jumpy jerks we call dance moves. It is adorable.

Even though she has a mind of her own, she is still our cuddly girl and nestles into our chests, or rests her head on our shoulders as she talks to us. She likes us to sit next to her while she plays so every few minutes she can look at us, smile, rest her head on our legs while babbling, then go back to what she is doing. It melts my heart every time.

She definitely has a strong personality, and will do this high pitched shriek if she is not getting what she wants-its pretty ear piercing, but I think part of it may also be her teething. While for the most part she is a peach, she will throw temper fits now for more then just the usual tired or hungry reasons these days-but luckily its fairly rare and again, I think it has to do with teething.

Over all, she is truly a joy and she lights up our home, lives and hearts. I mentioned in my last post about the tornado and her positive attitude and cute oblivious smiles. There is a term they seem to use here often-I heard for months before the tornado, but never really thought about it. It is 'Oklahoma Strong.' Lester and I used to joke that we will teaser her forever about the fact that she is an Okie and was born here; like whenever she does something silly we'll say 'oh its bc your from Oklahoma..' like it was a big joke. But if there is one thing I hope my Oklahoma daughter takes from being born here, I hope it is that. I hope she will always be this light in the darkness, and always remain Oklahoma Strong because that is something to be proud of and something I hope I can be.

I have been dreading doing this for about a day and a half now. But I just put my sweet baby girl down for a nap, after she downed 6 oz of carefully rationed water [mixed w formula]  and more then I ever I feel I need to do this. This is something I will never forget, but lessons fade and the ones I’ve learned these last few days are important.

Every morning, without fail, Addy wakes up all smiles and excitement. I think somewhere along the line adults lose that desire to seize the day-to genuinely WANT to get up in the mornings. I know I have haha! Most mornings it still hard to wake up, even when I hear her excited babbles and pretend talking. But I will say it makes it a far more enjoyable experience when I finally do. Nothing can change your groggy tired mood then seeing a person so truly happy to see you in the mornings. It makes everything better!

Yesterday morning Lester had to do a routine yearly driving training in a town called Edmond. It was early, but since it was his day off and I knew this could take a while, we decided to tag along and go to a nearby park while he did his thing. We had heard about Edmond being a nice area, and we weren't disappointed.

The park we went to was called E.C Hafer Park and the sign described it as 'An Urban Forest'. That is exactly what it was-next to gorgeous trees, animals and nature were paved walkways stroller friendly with fun play structures for the kids. There was even a small little lake where the ducks and squirrels would come right up close to quack and look at you. The driving course ended up taking about 3 hours, so we were glad we had found this little gem. I know for a fact that I would never want to live in Oklahoma permanently, but if something happened that made it necessary, I would want to live in a place like Edmond with its beautiful nature and family friendly places.

Today the stars aligned and most of our husbands were working. So, since we couldn't be with them, we decided to do the next best thing and hang out with each other! Since we all have kids who hit naps around the same time it was nice to be able to just be girls and talk, and then watch the kids interact with each other when they woke up. We even got to take them out to swimming-well sort of haha. The water ended up being too cold to do a whole lot, but it was a good attempt. I am sure we will be doing much more of this as it gets hotter and as our time comes to an end here. Good times!