Eternity
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Most of the people who read this blog know my friend Sara. You know about how a few years ago she was diagnosed with cancer, about how she handled it with such grace and humor. Often times one could find that she was the one comforting those who were devastated upon hearing these facts, and she was the shoulder they would cry on.
But I wish that those of you who don’t know her could have. She is smart, spunky, pretty, compassionate, funny-and not just polite giggle funny but embarrassing I-just-pig-snorted funny. If she didn’t have you in tears from laughing, she could have you in tears from her overwhelming spirit. I grew up with Sara, and got to know her and her crazy fun husband before they had their three beautiful kids. Then, she was an example of the kinda person I wanted to be, and the kind of marriage I wanted to have. She was one who exuded strength, inclusion, faith and confidence. She always made me feel important, and like I was one of the gang, even when I was a teenager and thought every little thing meant I was being mistreated like all teens do.
When she moved, and their family started growing, I thought our relationship would be like so many other leaders I had seen over the years-that it would eventually fall into a sort of remembrance more then a current, consistent thing. But somehow it didn’t. She still managed to show me that the common place things in life could be full of fun and wonder, and life was to be enjoyed not just endured. I love that I was able to confide in her as a kid, and throughout my adult life as well.
She isn’t doing to well at this point, and frankly, she won’t be with us very long. I don’t really know what to say or how to feel about it. I remember when I heard the news thinking all sorts of things, but for some reason it never crossed my mind that a world could exist without Sara in it-that she might not make it. That probably sounds naive and silly, but that is just the kind of person she was-it seemed nothing could defeat her. Even as I’m typing this it feels unreal.
The whole reason I even started is because I wanted to write down some special specific memories I had of her-but there are so many millions of little and big ones that they are all jumbled and I can’t put them down into words. The only thing I can think of is this story I will share because even though it is indirect all I can think about is how much Sara LOVED her family and friends and how she showed that in words AND deeds.
On my wedding day, after I came out of one of my church’s temples, my little brother hugged me and I could see tears. By the time the reception came to end, he refused to talk to me or even look me in the eyes. I was getting ready to leave for my honeymoon, and he still wasn’t budging and it broke my heart. I took him by the shoulders and said ‘Luke, I love you and Lester loves you. I don’t know why your upset, but we will see you in a few days.’ He finally looked up at me in a half glare-half confused face and said ‘but..why? I thought you wouldn’t be around anymore’. In talking to him for a few minutes, I realized he thought that my being married and leaving meant we were no longer a family, and that our relationship was over.
My point is he was wrong, and I am so glad he was. If I thought that this was the end-that I would never see my family again-that Sara would leave this earth and never see the family she loved and care for so dearly again-I would feel the way he did that day. I would feel scared, hurt, angry, betrayed, vulnerable and everything else. But even amidst our mourning for Sara-because I know we will all need to do some of that-after all, we are only human-we don’t have to feel that way for long and the fact is she wasn’t defeated...
Families are forever. Sarah will get to hold her sweet baby girl again, and have her crazy sons climb all over her again. She will get to bear hug Jamie again. She will get to be part of the welcoming party when someday I hope to join her and tell her all about my daughter and how I tried to be as fun as she was. This part-this life-is a piece of her eternities with her family. And my knowing her and living through all this craziness right now is a part of mine.
I know my family is forever, and that through my Savior and God, what we have sealed on this earth and in the temple is sealed in heaven as well. I know that this is a wonderful gift that we all can have available to us. I can’t say enough how grateful I am for this and for the purpose it gives me. I hope I can be like Sara, and be the kind of person people WANT to continue to see in their eternities. She has been a part of my growing up and gaining that testimony, and she will continue to be in my eternities as well. I love you Sara and will miss you until we meet again, if not when I get home, then later. I look forward to that reunion with all my heart. Our prayers will remain with you, and of course with Jamie and the kids. Thank you for all you do, and who you are. You are loved.
“Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a little while.”
-Wesley, The Princess Bride
*Below are pictures of Sara and her forever family. They were taken by Jennifer Jacobson, who also took our wedding photos-thanks to Sara, whom got us in touch in the first place.
[this is the place our family became an eternal one]
