Adjusting
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So far, being a Mom is the best, most wonderful thing I've ever done. It is also the most difficult, draining and scary thing I have ever done in my life. I love it and I love her and Lester more then anything in the whole world-still, I am hoping that sometime soon it will get easier and that I will be able to fill all these new roles I have. I'm sure much of it has to do with my hormones trying to regulate themselves. And with the fact that I still have yet to make friends here. And that I am more homesick then I ever have been in my whole life. And that I still haven't fully recovered from the PUPPP. And that I'm tired all the time. I imagine, when some of these things are eliminated, I will be better able to see things clearly. And I do have faith that they will eventually.
[one of the peaceful moments that make it all worth it :)]
Regardless, every time I cuddle with her, or am in one of Lester's arms with her in the other I can't help but feeling that it is all worth it. And then of course you'll find me crying again-but at least at those times its happy tears, not overwhelmed ones. I look forward to when there are more of those and none of the others.
Life is good, and I will adjust as always....hopefully sooner rather then later.
